Weekend shenanigans

John and I haven't had much time to blog about Davis' new developments, but last week he started to pull up to a stand and last night he took his first steps while supporting himself. He's also doing more tummy-off-the-ground crawling, versus his preferred method of commando-crawling. On Friday, John and I took advantage of having a weekday off to take him to the tumble-gym.

Last night, Grammie sent us out to dinner for our birthday treat. We went to EVOO a favorite restaurant of ours that did not disappoint last night. We both chose a three course prix fixe menu with wine pairings. It was fantastic, especially since the wine pairings allowed us to try wines I would not have picked for myself. We followed it with a trip to the wine store across the street to pick up a couple of them (a Verdicchio and a Moscato d'Asti).

A few other things we've done this weekend include shoe shopping (finally!) for both John and myself. Also, John and I bought our joint Christmas present. It's a strobe flash kit for studio lighting. A while ago we borrowed a backdrop from our friend Dave, but have been wondering about how we were going to light the room for some artsy baby/family photos. We dropped into a photo store on Saturday and were wooed by an entry level lighting kit. Watch for some photos in the future! Here's one of Domino John captured while playing around with one of the lights.

Thanksgiving

Grammie Jill came in last Saturday to be here for Thanksgiving and John's birthday. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, though quieter than Thanksgivings past. We typically have lots of people over, but John and I realized we don't really have the time or capacity right now for our usual crowd. So it was just us and my undergrad researcher and her roomate. Davis had a wonderful time playing with Grammie, Melissa and Amelia while John and I finished off dinner. Davis had turkey and mashed potatoes followed by sweet potato and a bite of pumpkin pie with whip cream. He liked it all, but the sweet potato was probably his favorite. Thanks to grammie for taking pictures!

Defining your own success

Tonight I attended the Arlington Working Mom's group for the second time. It's a nice group of women, who in one form or another, I have a lot in common with. Everyone has a different career and a different form of childcare, but we all face the same problems in the end and have shared similar trials and tribulations along the way. I find it inspiring and comforting. Tonight's topic was about the benefits and drawbacks of being a working mom for yourself, your spouse and your child(ren). It was an interesting night for me to attend, as my ideas about my career path have been in upheaval lately (since this weekend in fact). I've come to some pretty basic realizations about my current and future happiness.

When John was diagnosed with testicular cancer at the end of February, it was like someone took a picture of our life and framed it in a different perspective. Life isn't a guarantee. We don't know that we get to live out our lives to the end and fulfill every goal we have planned, be it an upgrade to a different category of bike racing, an addition to our family, or a tenured professor. We get what we get, and really we better make sure that each day we are happy with that day and the day before it, because there may not be one after. I know this sounds depressing, but when John made it through the surgery and then the radiation, it was like someone had given us a gift. The gift of realization that we live precariously, a chance to make sure we lived each day to the fullest. I promised then I would remember that lesson always. But then something happened. The same something that always happens, the here and now seems less important then the future. That I must work like there's nothing else in my life but work in order to get that one extra paper out, so that I can get that better postdoc, where I will work like crazy so that I can get a good tenure-track faculty position..so that I can then work like crazy to get tenure. But it's ok, right? Because it's only eight more years and then I can relax and spend quality time with my husband and son, get some good exercise, maybe take a a family vacation.

It's time I took control of defining my own success. Where I exist in work-life, which currently is just life, there is one definition of success. If you aren't aiming for a Nobel prize, you're not doing it right. Alright, maybe the Nobel is a reach, but at least a MacArthur award..It's a tough place to have any other vision of success in. If you consider working outside of academics, you're selling out. It's easy to get caught up in grandiose visions of "I'm making the world a better place by advancing science at it's purest form". Well, in the end, do I make the world a better place for myself, my husband, or my son? How about for the people I may have talked to at a local highschool as a volunteer for women in careers day? Or the person with a vision or reading disability who could have heard the book through me (I used to volunteer at Reading for the Blind and Dyslexic). The person on the other side of a soup kitchen counter? What's better, to abstractly impact the world or directly impact another person's life? I think they're both good, it's what YOU define as happiness and success. I'm realizing I have very concrete ideas about happiness. Family, health (as defined by the ability to do something extraordinary, like competing in a bike race or a triathlon), direct impact on another human being's life, a satisfaction and excitement about my job, and being the kind of person who Davis can look up to and respect, and know that he's always been first in my life.

Until recently, I have been gunning down the MacArthur award path. I feel like I have woken up out of some weird dream. I realized that working and spending a minimum amount of time with my husband and son (while feeling guilty about not working) is not what I want with the rest of my life. So here's me, wrestling with the here-and-now, defining my own success. May I remember that important lesson I learned a few months ago and never let it go.

My grandmother's house, alright the downstairs bathroom specifically, had an Irish blessing framed, and I often remember it. It goes like this:
"May the roads rise to meet you.
May the wind be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face; The rain fall soft upon your fields.
And, until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand."

I feel like I should start this new search for happiness with my own life blessing in a similar form:
"May I always remember what is important.
May I always seek to do what's right for myself and those that rely on me.
May I remember that everyone has their own path and gracefully acknowledge their path while holding true to my own.
At the end of my life, may I never come to regret the way in which I chose to live".

Painting and Dunking

This post is about our weekend adventures. Our third swimming class was Saturday and the skill of the day was going under water! This of course panicked all the parents. "Put my child's head under water..are you CRAZY?" I decided to try it, even though I also was nervous. Of course, I did my best to hide my nerves since kids seem to pick up on any emotions their parents have. Davis went under and came out so fast, he didn't even know what happened. I instantly felt better about it and we tried several more times. One time I dunked him just up to his mouth and he came out of the water spouting like a fountain. It's amazing the reflexes we are born with. It's a good reminder for me to keep in mind how sturdy he really is. Our bathtime is more relaxed now. When he sticks his face in the water, I just let him do it, knowing I'm there if he gets in trouble..which, of course he doesn't since he realizes he doesn't want his face in the water.

On Sunday we tried an activity we've been thinking about for a long time, but have shied away from. We bought some non-toxic paint and some paper and attempted to capture Davis' footprints. We had grand visions of letting him loose on the paper with all sorts of colors, but honestly, it didn't go that well. It didn't help that he woke up from his nap after only 30minutes, as opposed to the 2-3 hours we were expecting. The paint was so difficult to get off that he was scrubbed much more than he approved of. Luckily though, we got at least a couple of footprints to capture his infancy. The picture below is Davis exploring the tins John bought to put the paint in.

Wait..didn't you just start crawling?

Davis showed his first official signs of tummy-off-the-floor-crawling just a couple of days ago. Yesterday, he stood! He crawled over to me and I gave him my hands when he started to crawl up me. He stood up with the support of my hands. I found out today that he stood up with the assistance of a chair at daycare earlier this week. He sure is growing and developing quickly. Here are a few other highlights from this week:

• Inspired by the book Hungry Monkey, recommended reading by our friend Brian, we have been feeding Davis our dinners. A couple of nights ago he had lentils, sauteed veggies, and steamed spinach blended (we pulled out the veggies before they were glazed in wine). The night before that was sweet potato quesadilla filling, complete with cumin and coriander. Tonight was root vegetable soup, a big hit!
• We tried giving Davis small chunks of steamed carrot. It was a a blast to push around on his plate, but not much made it into his mouth. Well, none at all actually.
• Tonight he ate some baby puff cereal. He not only enjoyed playing with it, but managed to eat a few puffs. The puffs are made mostly from rice, which soften with moisture and therefore don't present a serious choking hazard. As Grandma predicted, the cats are enjoying hanging out under the highchair where food might drop at any moment. Domino liked the rice puffs more than Lilly did.
  
• Sitting is no problem at all. I tried to put him down for a nap yesterday. He was almost completely asleep and as soon as I put him in his crib, he shot up to a sitting position.
  
• This one is more of a parental development milestone. We picked up a changing table, for free, from the Arlington Parent's list. We realized our struggles with changing him on the floor probably stem from the fact that the floor is play-zone! Already, things are going better on the changing table.
• In addition to hi and da, Davis has said ba and ra this week. We've heard ra only once, but he's definitely working on b's.
• Hugs! Davis is hugging! I don't think there's anything better in the world than a baby hug. When I picked him up from daycare on Tuesday I was showered with hugs and kisses. We're working on the kisses, which currently consist of an open mouth pressed against your cheek. They are wet.
  

We could get used to a day off...

Yesterday, Veteran's day, the daycare was closed. This meant a day off for me, and John opted to take one off too! We started with the H1N1 vaccine clinic for patients of MIT pediatrics. They were amazingly efficient..certainly more efficient than we were getting out of the house. Davis had an awesome time in the car when we stopped back by it to eat before heading off to the Science Museum. Things were great and really exciting, until he accidentally honked the horn. Notice the really cute sweater from Megan! We were worried he would grow out of it too quickly to enjoy, but looks like he's going to be in this size for a bit (or at least longer than any other clothing size he's been in). The business-casual outfit is courtesy of Grammie. Can you believe they make button-down onesies?!

We met up with our friends Brian, Clara and little Emily (two months old) for a day, hm, ok a couple of hours, at the Science Museum. The highlight for Davis was probably the butterfly garden. The parents enjoyed the dinosaur exhibit.

Davis goes for a crawl and a sit

Today Davis went for his first real crawl. I happened to catch it on video

5000 pushups in 10 days

About a month ago, one of the directors at our office issued a challenge: 5,000 push ups in 10 days starting on October 30th. I signed up with about 20 others, some in teams. I didn't think I could complete the 5,000. I've never had a great deal of upper body strength, so 2,000 seemed like a challenging, but attainable goal.

I did some testing in the weeks before the challenge and it seemed like I could do between 15 and 25 push ups in a set. I planned on taking it day by day and seeing how my body responded to doing that many push ups. I had no idea what would happen: would it be easy? Would it become impossible after a few days? Would I get stronger?

During the challenge, two things happened: I got stronger and I gained confidence each day. I did 500 on Friday the 30th, none over the first weekend as I was very sore, but then slowly gained steam: 370 on Monday, 330 on Tuesday, 600 on Wednesday, 500 on Thursday, and 700 on Friday. After I did 700 on Friday and was at 3,000 for the week, well above my initial goal, I felt like I had an outside shot at finishing the 5,000. I was sore, but stronger. I was doing between 25 and 30 in a set.

This weekend, I posted a cryptic message on facebook: "Its amazing what you can accomplish when you believe in yourself". I posted that after I realized that I was going to finish the 5,000 push ups. I did 1,000 push ups on Saturday over about 14 hours and knew that nothing could stop me from doing 1,000 more on Sunday. I did the 1,000 on Sunday in less time than Saturday and I'm still a little shocked, but I have a lot more faith in myself.

Here are a few of the interesting place I did push ups during the challenge:

• On the bike trail in Lexington
• The Burlington Landlocked Forest
• My cube
• One of our conference rooms, during a meeting
• Over lane 1 southbound of Route 95
• Ryan Park, Woburn, MA
• Davis' room
• Lexington Center

Of all the people that signed up, only 3 people made it over 1,000: me, the director who issued the challenge who is also black belt in Taekwondo (3,000) and a marathoner who is currently unable to run (5,000). I'm sore, but I feel great at the same time.

New Photos

Sunday we had Megan and Dave over for brunch. Before they came over, I cleaned the bathroom sink and Lilly decided that would be a perfect place to hang out for a while. This was the first time either of our cats have ever done this.

Domino wasn't quite sure what was going on:

Davis had a good time playing with Kristen, Megan and his toys:

Davis can sit up by himself!

This morning Davis and I were in his room, I was folding his diapers and he was crawling around. When I looked up to see what he was doing, he was just sitting there. He had pushed his way up from the floor to seated all by himself!! Also, Davis definitely loves books. This morning I read eight books an average of two times each. Whenever I ended a book, unless I immediately started it over or started a new one, he would start to cry.

Some highlights for the week:

• Davis started antibiotics last night for a persistent cold with a cough and a slight ear infection. Hopefully, he'll feel better soon. Also, a hacking cough is no way to make friends at music class or in swim lessons.
  
• Davis loved our music class even more this week than last. What fun! All those people singing, and babies to look at. We also got to play with a drum this week in addition to shakers.
  
• I just submitted an abstract for a conference in Quebec in March. I didn't finish the draft of the paper I hoped to finish today, but at least I submitted my abstract on time. I hope to finish the draft by the end of the weekend, I am pretty close.
  
• This is the third week in a row that someone has told me they liked the music I played during my cycling class at the gym. It's been someone different each time!
• It's not recent news, but I don't know that I ever announced it, a few weeks ago I officially returned to my pre-pregnancy weight.
• There's a possibility that my yearly salary may have doubled. I'm not counting on it yet, since there has been some confusion with regards to the distribution of the Scholarship I was awarded, but the current scenario is that money will be in addition to my current stipend. What a blessing that would be! It's quite a bit of change for a house down payment, or essentially, it pays for almost two years of daycare!
• I continue to wonder how in the world I will finish everything I need to finish by graduation time in May. Life is crazy, but I know in the end we will manage to make it happen.
  

This weekend will be pretty low-key. Davis and I will go to swimming lessons tomorrow morning and then I'll be heading to a birthday party tomorrow night. Sunday we have brunch plans with Dave and Megan. Dave is going to lend us a black backdrop so that we can attempt some family portraits. This Wednesday is Veterans day and daycare is closed. Davis and I get to spend the day together! Unfortunately and fortunately, we'll kick it off with the H1N1 vaccine, but later we have plans to go to the Science Museum or to the Stone Zoo with some friends!

Swimming Photos

Here are some photos from Davis' first swim class. From where I was sitting, the lighting was extremely challenging so most pictures are a little grainy. Davis and mom had a great time.

Chapter 3: Courtship part II

Back in August, on the 31st to be exact, I decided to write the 'story of us'. Clearly, that idea has taken a backburner to simply surviving as full-time, working parents. Since I really don't feel like working tonight (yet), here's the third installment for your enjoyment, or slight amusement, or at least a way to kill some time. In Chapter 1, I introduced how John and I met (soccer + brother James). In Chapter 2, I reviewed our flowering romance, accelerated by a summer of weekend trips between Portland and Seattle.

In fall of 2000 I returned from Oregon to my senior year of college. John continued at the University of Washington as a Reasearch Assistant. I can't recall too many specific details from that year. John and I continued to play soccer. In fact, at one point I believe we were playing in three league games a week on three different teams. Perhaps, this should have been a foreshadowing of the degree to which John and I would take our physical hobbies. That fall, my Grandmother passed away, and I remember that I was happy that she had a chance to meet John before she died, since I knew at the time how serious our relationship was. John was wonderfully supportive, which I really needed, losing my Grandmother was very hard.

That Thanksgiving marks the first year I did not return home for Thanksgiving. I stayed in Seattle and went to John's home, partly spurred on by the craziness of traveling at the Holidays and partly by my parents not picking me up at the airport the year before..I was kicked out into the cold when the airport shut down. Sure, it was a simple misunderstanding of the arrival time, but you have to remind your otherwise-perfect parents of a mistake whenever you have a chance. (I should perhaps stop doing that now that I'm a parent myself).

I can't pinpoint when exactly John and I decided to get married. There are stories floating around that John asked his mom 'How do you know when you have met the one?' I can't speak for John, but I knew pretty quickly that I had met my match for life. My favorite thing about John was that he's adventurous and willing to try new things. Just after Christmas that year, John joined my family in Boise, where he learned to ski! It was only a couple of half-day lessons and with his natural athletic ability we were skiing all over the mountain. There's a run on the back-side of the mountain that my Dad and I would often ski. Half-way down, it splits into a couple of options. There are two groomed runs you could follow, and then an off-run section in the trees that we would usually take. When we hit the fork, my Dad 'generously' offered to show John the way (in fact, 'Follow me John!' is now an often used phrase in our family). I thought it was awfully sweet of my Dad to take such an eager interest in showing my boyfriend, of less than one year, the way down the run. It was only a couple of seconds after they started I realized Dad was taking him into the trees and not on one of the two runs. I quickly followed after and caught up just as John yard-saled. There are a few amazing things about this incident: 1) John made it all the way down off-run and only crashed during the transition from off-run to groomed run 2) John loved it! The goalie in him came out and he couldn't wait to throw himself on the ground again. 3) He still married me despite his father-in-law (who now innocently says "I didn't think he would really follow me!").

The goal is to reach...

Davis and I took our first baby swim lesson on Saturday. Dad watched from the stands with the camera (pictures hopefully coming soon). Davis had a blast, except for the couple of times he swallowed some water unexpectedly. We started out getting used to the water and then we had an opening song with some splashing. The two lessons for the day were reaching and kicking. I was talking to another Dad and his daughter Katie when they put the toys in the water that the babies were supposed to reach after. Katie and her mom, Megan, were in our first Mom's group. When I looked down, Davis was already chewing on a rubber duck, and I didn't even know they had put the toys in the water! Guess all that reaching for rubber ducks in the bathtub really paid off. He was a natural at kicking too! I wonder if he remembers swimming from when I was pregnant. There were a few times I could really feel him doing flips, swimming was one of them. In fact, it was when I was swimming that I felt him move for the very first time. I think John and I are both hoping he enjoys swimming as much as I do, since John greatly dislikes it. We're looking forward to the next lesson, although, they are not allowing spectators until the last swim class, so it will be just Davis and me.

Saturday afternoon we got to see a bunch of cycling friends at a bbq, which was really nice. Unfortunately, John came down with a sore throat that night, so we had to cancel some brunch plans for Sunday and we opted for a solitary walk as opposed to a kids' Halloween party to keep from getting anyone else sick. It seems his tough immune system is keeping the cold to a minimum since his only symptom has been a sore throat and it bothers him mostly in the mornings.