Kristen Grows Older - in a day

For a while now I've thought I had seen some strands of gray in my hair. I've brushed it off thinking "no..that's just really blond hair". It was just confirmed by my friend Megan that they are in fact, gray. Another office mate said it's not because I'm old..it's because of the kid. Is there a difference?

On the bright side, sleeping on my right side helped my hip pain a lot! I still had problems sleeping since Lilly is very attached to the middle of the bed and the right side just doesn't work for her!

Banff Mountain Film Festival

Yesterday, Kristen and I went to the Banff Mountain Film Festival at the Regent Theater in Arlington Center. The Banff Centre, which puts on the festival each year, "promotes understanding and appreciation of the world's mountain places by creating opportunities for people to share and find inspiration in mountain experiences, ideas, and visions". They do this very well. The films, ranging from a few minutes to half an hour, were awe inspring.

We saw amazing human achievements in extreme sports, but I was really struck by the amazing, awe-inspring natural wonders featured in the film. Journey to the Center followed 3 base jumpers traveling to China to jump down Tiankeng, the Heavenly Pit. This is a 2000 foot deep, 2000 foot wide naturally occurring pit in the earth. The Sharp End followed extreme climbers in the Czech Republic climbing free-standing sandstone structures. The Unbearable Lightness of Skiing followed extreme backcountry skiier Greg Hill tackingling some unbelivable runs in British Columbia. Throw into the mix some great cycling movies, amazing nature photography, a good crowd, great friends, and a good dinner and we had a great night.

Sleep Deprivation Begins

Well, they say that the last month or so is so uncomfortable that you're more than ready for baby to arrive. 'They' also say that you can no longer sleep to prepare yourself for the sleep deprivation ahead. I have to say, I believe that phase has begun for me. Unfortunately, my hips hurt so much that I can't sleep well. I tried the couch last night, which turned out to be the worst decision ever, except for the fact that Domino curled up with me all night long. Luckily the hip is improving, but I haven't been this tired in a very long time!

Babysitting

Kristen and I had our first baby sitting experience last night. We went over to our friends place and watched their 11 month old while they went out to dinner. I'll admit, I haven't had a lot of experience around babies so I was a little nervous going in, but I had a great time. We sat on the floor and played with blocks, rocked, read a few books and fed him dinner. Kristen was really good with him - she is going to make a fabulous mom. The only challenge we had was getting him to go to sleep. His usual bedtime is 7:00, but we didn't get him down until 8:45.

Some of the things I learned:

• We need more pacifiers. We have 2, we'll need about 20, maybe more.
  
• We both need to learn more songs. I'm pretty good at ad-libbing a song, but that isn't going to be enough. Kristen only could think of one song: from Les Miserable.
• Kristen has an amazing singing voice.
• We should pack spare adult clothes in the car in case of poo-explosions (this did not happen last night, I just learned that it can).
• Babies are amazing.
• I can change diapers.
• We should get a white-noise source.
  

Weekend Activities

We have a pretty laid back weekend coming up. We will do some birth preparation/rehearsal, prepare a bag to take to the hospital, clean, watch some movies, do taxes and hopefully get some exercise.

We're also offering to babysit/clean/cook for some friends of ours. They have an 11 month old with their second on the way. While this is challenging enough for most people, he also has a ruptured disc in his back that has severally limited his abilities. We'd like to help them out in any way we can so we'll probably baby sit/clean/cook for them while she gets out of the house for a little while. Sunday we are having a couple of friends over for dinner. It sounds like a busy weekend, but there is going to be a lot of time for relaxing, playing with cats, watching movies and so forth.

Research on autism and vaccines was fabricated

This was a shocking NY Times article we saw last week through various other posts. Appalling that it took this long for them to discover the fabrication, but perhaps we'll see vaccination rates go up now that the link is conclusively dismissed (for the time being).

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article5683671.ece

Buying a House

A few months ago, we decided that we would look into buying a house and staying in the Boston area for a while. We have both been stressed out by the uncertainly of where we would be living a few years down the road and are tired of throwing away money on rent each month. Ultimately, we would like to be back on the west coast to be closer to family, but we had a good long talk at dinner one night and decided that we were comfortable staying in the Boston area for the next 3-5 years and Kristen could easily find a post-doc or industry position in the area.

With Kristen's mom's help, we looked into buying a house in the Boston area and have decided that it really doesn't make financial sense for us. There were a few key issues that are keeping us from buying:

1. Housing in the Boston metro area is still very expensive. There really are not a lot of places that are: a) close to Cambridge, b) close to Bedford and c) Under $400,000.
   
2. The volatility of the market over a 3-5 year period can swing it from being a really good idea to buy to a really bad idea. To break even with rent, we would have to make about 3% a year on a $300,000 place. Breaking even on a more expensive place requires larger gains each year.
   
3. We don't have a large down payment right now. What we do have would wipe out our savings and emergency money. If I lost my job, we would immediately lose the house.

I think we are comfortable with the decision not to buy. We feel a lot better now that we've gone through the decision making process. Its still frustrating to be throwing money away on rent, but we are very focused on saving money for a down payment in 3-5 years. Our budget for this next year is structured as if we were making mortgage payments each month with the difference between what we have budgeted and what we are spending going directly into a housing fund.

Daycare

Kristen and I have been looking into daycare options. For a long time we had thought that it made the most sense to use the Bright Horizons daycare just down the street from my office. In the last week or so, we've been considering that we would be a lot better of with a daycare close to home. This gives us a lot more flexibility for pick-up and drop-off options. For instance, I can drop him off in the morning and Kristen can pick him up in the evening if I have to work late or go grocery shopping after work.

There are a few good daycares within walking distance of our place. that we'll be visiting shortly. One of the places has a 4 day a week option that is $200 less a month than the 5-day option. This has made us start thinking about each doing a 9/9 work week and each having 1 day at home every two weeks. We're both excited about this, so we'll have to see if we can work this out with our employers.

Birth Preferences

Here are our birth preferences as we shared them with our Midwife. Many of these are standard things that the Midwives and Mount Auburn practice. For instance, Mount Auburn has a 1.2% episomoty rate and doesn't routinely do IVs upon admission.

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Dear Healthcare Provider,

My husband, John, and I are excited to be delivering our first child with you at Mt. Auburn. We feel comfortable that we've chosen a place where our hopes for a natural and unmedicated birth will be possible. We understand not everything we hope for can be accommodated and last minute challenges will make some of these impossible, but we greatly appreciate your attention to our needs and concerns.

Preadmission

• We request to delay labor augmentation or induction as long as medically feasible and to use natural methods as a possibility for inducing labor.

Admission

• We request to decline IV preparation upon admission to the hospital
• We request intermittent monitoring after initial admission monitoring
• We request telephone calls not be relayed, only messages
• We request a quiet labor room filled with soft light and music and subdued tones and good vibes about the birthing process.

During Labor

• We respectfully request that staff refrain from references to “pain, hurt, etc.” and any offer of medication or labor-enhancing procedures unless requested.
• We request that labor be allowed to take its natural course without reference to “moving things along” or augmenting labor and be allowed the privacy to pursue natural oxytocin stimulation should the need arise.

During Birthing

• We request to use Hypnobirthing techniques and prompts to deliver the baby and request coaching and other prompts be abstained from.
• We request to utilize birthing positions and other natural means to minimize use of an episiotomy.

After Birth

• We request that Dad help receive the baby.
• We request that baby be brought to Mom’s chest for direct skin to skin contact as soon as possible.
• Dad would like to participate in cutting the cord.
• We request that cord blood be collected for donation. Unless we deliver between 3PM on a Friday and Sunday evening.
• If donation isn't occurring, we request that cord cutting be delayed until it has stopped pulsing. If donation is occurring we request that the cord cutting be delayed as long as possible and still be able to retrieve enough sample.

For Baby

• We request vernix be allowed to naturally absorb into the skin
• We request that our baby be breastfed only and pacifiers and bottles not be used.

Last Class

Kristen and I finished up our last birth preparation class this Wednesday. We took two classes: a 5-week Hypnobirthing class through Mount Auburn Hospital and a more traditional 7-week class offered through MIT Medical. We finished Hypnobirthing two weeks ago and wrapped up the MIT class this week. The two classes were a good balance to each other. In Hypnobirthing we learned about relaxation during birth and really focused on how birth is normal and doesn't need medical intervention. This was great since our goal is a natuarl and unmedicated birth.

The MIT class was a good balance since it was really designed to educate a more diverse audience. So it covered a lot of what can go wrong in birth, what your options are in terms of medication, what to do in the case of a c-section and so forth. I think the class was in many ways better for me than Kristen as it gave me the information I need to be a strong and supportive birth companion.

34 Weeks

Tuesday marked Kristen's 34th week of pregnancy. If all goes normally, that means we have somewhere between 4 and 8 more weeks before our baby boy is welcomed to this world. Besides a few small things to do and buy, we are materially as ready as we can be. We still have a lot to learn about birth and being parents, but we're both looking forward and ready for that challenge.

Thursday we went in for the routine 34 week checkup. We went over our birth preferences with the midwife and found that the baby is positioned head down with the back towards Kristen's belly which is the best position for birth. There is still a chance that he will rotate, but it was good news to know that he is head down and likely won't be a back labor.